Saturdays are the day we usually end up at Babies R Us to pick up diapers (keep trying to break this habit but..). Or just out at a museum, a play park, birthday party or the mall. These places on this particular day have become my least favorite places to be. Babies are everywhere. They are crying and cooing.... Sounds that I only dream I would have heard from Hazel. These things break my heart, I have pulled into the parking lot at Babies R Us many times only to back out and leave. I don't want to have to face the pain. It is real. It is intense. Some days it does not feel fair, why am I here? Why is this MY life? But then I am thankful that it is MY life. Thankful that I have been blessed with many things. I have had a lot of pain, but without this pain, these experiences I wouldn't be who I am today.
I am thankful today for the four gifts that I do get to hold today, thankful for the strength to make it through yet another day without Hazel, to have survived this day. I am thankful for the sticky grin that smiles at me from across the breakfast table. I am thankful for the smell of coffee..... and so much more.
Much Love, Meagan