Sunday, December 19, 2010

First day of grief counseling......

So today was the first day of Grief counseling for the kids. It went really well they all enjoyed their time there, they did lots of crafts and frosted cookies. I think it was good but they are really at a different place and need something more personal. I am proud to say that they are very comfortable talking about Hazel and their feelings. Although I don't know how much more they would like to talk as sometimes I am just too overwhelmed or tired to open the "angel" box. (I know, I know and believe me I have lots of "Mama guilt over it!!) So they did well and the counselors were very surprised at how open and connected they were to their feelings. In fact I had one counselor tell me that we were the "poster parents" on how to deal with kids going through grief, that we were doing everything "right". I just started crying and saying then why do I feel so lost? What do I do when I don't want to talk or just don't feel strong enough? She said well you are allowed to set boundaries for your own grief as well and that is ok. Well she is not the one with a crying child and the guilt of just not wanting to deal with someone else's grief when you just can't face your own! I just keep going trying my best and that is all I can do. We are getting there one day at a time, we are spending lots of time talking and I think that is helping us all.

I am again asking for your continued prayers as we face the coming weeks of unknown with G's job. I am praying that he gets a lead for something new. I also need to find something part time that will allow me to stay at home with the kids as much as possible. This is such a difficult time but we are so blessed to have loving, supportive family and friends that I thank God for everyday.

God Bless
~Meagan

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